You were never a “Bad Kid”

You were never a “bad kid.” The concept of a “bad child” is rooted in black and white thinking patterns. Either someone is viewed as all bad/good, right/wrong, obedient/disobedient. If you pushed against your parents and received harsh consequences, punishments or name-calling in return, you endured poor and misguided parenting. This did not mean you were inherently wrong or bad, but the internalization of this feeling can last far beyond the childhood years.

Children are often told that they are doing something “bad” if it goes against their parent’s wishes or social guidelines. Instead, children should be taught that they can still be loved and valued even when they make a mistake. They may still receive a limit or consequence for their actions, but ultimately with the understanding that children learn from their mistakes, and generally if they are given enough understanding and guidance, they can easily adapt and improve.

Unfortunately, the consequences of being labeled a “bad kid,” can negatively impact self-esteem, and create a lower sense of self-worth. If a child is internally beating themselves up for every mistake, this can negatively impact their social relationships, job satisfaction, and mental health in the future.

Many adults who suffer from anxiety and depression also have low sense of self-worth. The “bad child” syndrome can become a deep rooted core belief that is hard to undo. It may make them feel inferior, different from others, or easily triggered in relationships. It can lead to over-reactions, intense feelings of frustration, and difficulties with daily functioning.

This is where trauma processing comes into the picture. If we are able to process our negative core beliefs and identify the wounds and triggers associated with these beliefs, we can create an adaptive bridge to a more positive and whole belief and vision for the future. Through EMDR, Brainspotting, or IFS, we are working on finding our center and fostering that sense of self-worth from within. It is not too late to change the wiring, and to re-work the identification with being the “bad child.” You are no longer that child being sent to his/her room or to the principle’s office. You can start to recognize that you are good enough as you are, and your core sense of worth can begin to shift from within.

Contact us today to discover if Trauma therapy is right for you. Reach out @ everyheartdreamsfamilycounseling.com, or (530) 240-4107.